It is Friday….

The boys are off to their dads for the weekend.  Adam and I are headed up north for his work meeting.  

I want this time with him.  I need this time with him.  I feel like life and outside influences are really getting in the way of how loving our relationship use to be.

I need my King……that is all….I need him….he is my rock, my person, my go to guy, he is my best friend, my safe place, he is home.  

I want it back.  I want the really fun laughing, joking, touching ,loving relationship again…..I hate that we let our life get bogged down by outside influences…..mostly me….he can let go a lot faster than I can.  He doesn’t let things bother him.  

The was we speak…user to be full of love and now it is full of insults and what you are doing wrong.  Not always, but more than it should.  

I want to feel like his number one….and I use to…. sometimes I feel last now.  I miss him.  

I hate when he says you are predictable, he will tell me I know you would be upset, I knew you would make the rest of the night shitty.  Can’t you evee be happy.  Can you LITERALLY just be happy for one when day.  Or is that impossible for you.  You’re sad.  Your depressed, you’re unhappy.

No…..I just want someone to understand me.  I just want to be able to have my feelings heard.

I try really hard to get my feelings right.

But the first wat to make me irrational or pissed off….just fuck with my husband or kids….go ahead, and you will see a wrath lime you have never seen.  They are my life.  And I will protect them.  Love them, fight for them, be their biggest cheer leader, until the day I take my very last breath.

I mean it NOONE  will fuck with my family.  Putting my foot down.  Kill them with hindness….yeah that is exact what I will do.  No other way to be!!

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