Just take a little time…..

Well, Hello Everyone!

It has been over a month since I have blogged.  I needed some time to do some soul searching.  And make some life changes.  I have spent my time really trying to dig deep…..and dig deep I did!

First, I really feel like I have gained a new perspective on my life and my past and my marriage!  I am just going to say thing….my past is dead and buried….all the things that have happened to me.  And all the things I have ever went through, I just have to let those go.  I have to just move on from it.  Because those ppl who hurt me, I already made the choice not to have them in my life so why am I continually letting them live in my heart.  So eviction notices were served, and with tears, and should searching, and direction from my husband.  I just let it go.  I mean why not…..why hold on to things I can not change,  Things that have held me prisoner for way to long.  I shouldn’t!  I won’t!  I finally feel like I am free…….I am just going to live in my happy place with my husband and weirdos…..fuck the rest.

There have been huge changes made to my lifestyle.  It is very odd to me how things like this even happen, but my whole life I could have dairy, never had an issue, and then boom one day out of the blue it just starts making me sick.  So I cut it out, and then made the horrible mistake of talking myself into eating sour cream on a fajita……big mistake!!!  I was horribly ill for 3 days!  So that is it, no dairy for me.  I have now been 2 weeks without dairy.  It is very hard.  I love all things creamy and milky.  And mac and cheese is my FAVORITE!  Time to find a new favorite!  So I am adjusting to a life of alternate milk choices.  It is getting easier and easier everyday.

Next I have decided to cut land dwelling meat from my diet, I am actually pretty excited about this, and have thought about it for a long time.  After the eliminating dairy, eliminating meat will be a walk in the park.  I can definitely feel my body detoxing.  The pain from “fibromyalgia”  has decreased by about 50%, and that makes me very happy.  I am hoping that feeding my body healthy food and eliminating the food that slows us down I can be 100% pain free.  I have an amazing support system, my husband and my kids are super encouraging.  I could never get through this life change without them!

I am paying more attention to my calling, I have been meditating, getting back in touch with my witchy side……I can not neglect it…..it won’t let me.  It is  who I am, what I am!  I am proud to be a witch, I am proud of my gifts…..5 months ago I would of said the opposite. Crazy how much life can change.

Even bigger changes in my marriage.  I think we have grown to something more than a Dom/sub relationship.  It is so much deeper than that.  And it is better than ever.  I just had to let down my walls and let him in.  It is so odd when you do that how much more you learn about a person.  I feel like I know and love my husband so much more than I did a month ago.  He is more to me now than he ever has been.  He is truly my heart.  There is not another human on the planet I love more than him.  We are growing together and changing together.  We are supportive, and are not letting ourselves be held down by labels (Dom/sub) or how the world views a relationship should be.  Cause this is our relationship, and we def do not fit into any mold, I think we are a little bit of everything, and when you let all that come through.  It seriously changes how your relationship works.  It changes how you see your partner.  I see him for so much more than I ever did before!  I see all the great things about him.  I love that we are the same, we are the same kind of weird.

So I am going to end this there.  Thanks for reading!!

Blessed be!

It’s good to be ME!!!

Advertisements

Weirdos…….

Sometimes I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle.

Sometime I get super tired of having to be the responsible one, the one who keeps everyone on task, the one who makes sure everyone is doing what they are told, and that everyone knows where they have to be.  Normally I am fine with all this.  But with 5 kids and a husband, sometimes you just get worn out…..

I am just going to add this right now….my life is amazing, I have a great husband and seriously the best kids two parents could ask for!  My husband takes amazing care of us, he works hard, he is present with myself and the kids, he is fun, he honestly makes me so happy.  Or kids are AWESOME!!  they are some pretty amazing ppl, they have huge hearts they, are so good to each other, so good to us, they are funny, and each one has their very own personality, so you can imagine there is never a dull moment in our house.

But with all this, I keep this well oiled machine running, and lately the kids have been really stretching me.  We have one who is an awesome kid, he is funny, he is helpful, he is super animated.  But he is very unorganized, so he never knows were anything is, he is always forgetting something (homework)…….I hate that everyday I have to talk to him about where all his stuff is, we have a rule, that if he does not bring home his math book and homework every day, then that night he can not watch TV or use video games.  I know that he tries, he really does.  That kids get so bummed when he forgets his stuff.  I mean you can honestly tell he is not doing it on purpose, he is just energized all the time, that he honestly does forget.  I mean he is who he is, he will probably struggle his whole life with being scatterbrained.   So we met with his teacher today, and she is going to give him tools to help him at school (checklist) and we are going to do the same at home.  Hopefully some visuial reminders can help him stay a little more organized.

We have another one who again amazing kid, such a sweet soul, and he is uber organized, but he has a really hard time at school (He was diagnosis with Autism and Generalized Anxiety disorder)  He does have an IEP at school, and he is a special education student.  He is super smart and he has some amazing talents, but anything to with writing, especially about his feelings is hard for him, school is tough……for anyone…..but he is 14 now, and he just doesn’t want to stick out in the crowd anymore.  He wants to just be like the other kids…..He is 6’1″….so he already stands out for that.   He does not like to get pulled out of class anymore (speech, social work, individual testing).  I get it…….I totally get what he is feeling.  And I know it is hard for him,  I know he wants nothing more to blend in, but everything about him makes him stand out.    So we get a lot of emails, there are a lot of meetings,  a lot of phone calls.

The next was this boy is really just sweet, has a huge heart, and he is so so so funny.  I swear he should be a comedian.  But he has just started puberty,  even got his first pimple yesterday 😦 Poor guy!  And the change he is going through, is so up and down.  He very easily can have his feelings hurt, and he very easily can get frustrated…….puberty is tough, we have all been there, it makes your brain go crazy, you upset but you have no idea why you are upset, you are sad but don’t know why you are sad…..not to mention what is happening to you body.  Yeah it is a tough period in life.  And this guy is feeling it lately.  So he can be a bit moody.

Our oldest son, I gotta say….I don’t really have much going on with him right now.  He is pretty open to taking advice right now.  He kinda keeps to himself a little.  He is an awesome kids, he is amazing in sports….the kids can run, he can definitely play football, he is an amazing kicker!!  Even though we do no allow him to play football, he is only 15 his brain is still devolping, and we just do not want him out there getting slammed around damaging his brain.  But he does run track, and let me tell you this kids is fast!!  He is an awesome big brother, my King was just telling me the other day, when I was showing him pics of all 5 kids squished into  a tiny photo booth, He said “It is so cool that Corey is almost 16 and still likes to hang out with his siblings and do fun stuff like this with them.”  It really made me think….and yes that is awesome, so I told him that on the way home from school, and he said, “Yeah, cause they are my friends, mom.  I like hanging out with them.”  In a moment like this, you know you are doing something right.  I was proud that he said that….(so sorry my King that you are reading this here, last night was busy with company and I honestly did not even think of it until just now. :))  I love that all the weirdos love hanging out with each other.  I love that they are not just siblings, but that they are friends.

Oh, my darling sweet daughter, the only girl left in the house (our other daughter is 21) and this girl is my heart, she is sweet, she is helpful, she never complains, she is my best friend.  This girl is great.  She is the other one that I am not to worried about, she gets excellent grades, she is in band, and drama, and she loves art and music….actually all of our kids really love music, a lot of music in our house.  We do everything together, we are always attached at the hip.  I love that she is open with me and we can have long conversations, I love that she is snuggle up with me all day in bed and watch Twilight…..We have already watch4 of the 5 movies, and she loves them, this is her first time watching it….her sister loved them too.  So it is fun getting to share it again.  if your read my previous post, about being a witch….my daughter is also an Empath.  So that is where most of my help comes in, I did not have anyone when I was growing up with this to help me and walk me through it.  Teach me ways to shield and meditate, breathing exercises, just some one to help me through it.  So I am very glad that my daughter share this gift, and I am very glad I get to help her along the way.

We do have 2 older children who are adults and no longer live at home.  But I am going to write about them separately

OK, so what was this blog about……..I think I was frustrated, and look at that, I am not frustrated anymore…..wow this was almost like a therapy session.  I really did start this post with all intentions of just venting……But, I guess the thought I had to put into each child, and talking about some of the amazing thing they do……I think that was good for me, cause it really does show me that the good does outweigh the bad……..and if I look at it from the big picture……well damn, they all are doing pretty damn good.  I am their mom, I want to help them, I want to guide them.

I know that we got this……..we totally have this, cause damn we have some pretty fantastic weirdos!!!

Wow, this was good for my soul, I am glad I wrote this!!

It’s good to be Mom!!

 

It’s a great day!!

Sauce is done, oven is cleaned, and my house is back in order!

Got the pie ready for my Eva. 

And I am dressed and ready for our company tonight.

Just have to go get the Weirdos from school, yay!!!

The sun is shining, it is a beautiful October day!!

I am happy.  I think we are in a good place!  

Feeling good today!!

It’s good to be queen!! ❤️👑

It’s Wednesday…….

Just another day in paradise!!

Today my in laws are coming over for dinner.  So I am starting the chicken alfredo.  Cleaning out the oven….what a fun task.  And getting the house picked up.

Yesterday our daughter text me from school and asked me if I would make her a pie for one of her teachers.  I was definitely intrigued, “Why a pie, Eva?”…….I guess her teacher mentioned something in class about  “one day I want to check my mail box and find a pie”…..Well alrighty then,  So I am making her a pie….that is a lie, I bought one from the bakery…..I have way to much stuff to do today, so I let the bakers make it.  But, what is really funny is what she wants to write on the top….”surPIES!!”……Well that did it for me, I am totally game.  That is just hilarious!!

Last night our son Preston had his very first band concert.  He did amazing.  He even had a solo!  I was so proud of him!

Today it seems like the rain may be gone.  I could not be happier about this.  Feel pretty good this morning, not to much pain so I am going to get as much as I can done this morning, so this afternoon I can relax and get ready for company tonight.

I really do have a great life!  I could not ask for more, we are truly blessed!  I love my weirdos!!  I love my King!  We are just one crazy and extremely happy family.  What more could I ask for!

Have a razor day everyone!!

Here is the “surPIES” pie…lol

It’s good to be queen!

 

Rain, rain, go away……

This is our second day of rain.  We are having very unusual weather in Michigan this year.  Very warm.  I hope it sticks around for Halloween!!

But, for the last 2 days rain……..I used to LOVE the rain!!  Rainy day were always my favorite.  They were great for relaxing, reading a book, snuggling with the weirdos or my husband.  Well, arthritis has definitely taken the joy out of rainy days!  Now the rain brings a lot of pain, and always a headache…….ugh!

I am taking the day (since I am just laying in bed anyway) to look for a new Dr., write in my blog (my fav), and catch up on some reality TV. So all in all not a horrible day.  Cause I do just get to hang out in bed.  But I could definitely do without the pain.

Oh well, what do you do.  Just gotta do what I can do.  And move forward.

I definitely see a hot bath in my very near future.  Like right now!

Rub a dub dub!

It’s good (and sometimes painful) to be queen! 😉

 

Are you a good witch…….

Yes.  I am a good witch.

Yes. I am a witch.

There is no other word I use to describe my “gift”.  I have tried.  but, only witch feels right.

I have pretty much been a closet witch my entire life, I do not tell many ppl, only ppl close to me know this about me.  Well, I am ready to come out of the closet.

Since I was small, I knew I was different, different than pretty much everyone I knew.  When I was 11 I started noticing it more and more.

Empath……..

I can feel ppl, I can feel it they are sad, or worried, or angry, excited, sick, any emotion a person was having I could feel it.

In the beginning I thought these feelings were mine.  So you can imagine I was pretty confused most of the time.  Sometimes I still am.  Sometimes it is really hard to tell what emotions are mine, and the ones I am feeling from someone else.

It is almost impossible to lie to me, because I can feel the emotion you are putting out, and even if you are clever enough to deceive me (Narcissist’s are pretty clever).  It usually does not take me long to figure out that I have been lied too.

It is very easy for me to unintentionally take someones emotions, especially if the burden is to big for them to carry. I spent years and years of my life carrying around emotions that were not mine.  Sometimes I still do, but it is much easier for me to know the difference now.  It took a very long time to learn how to shield myself, and shield myself well.  I am much better at knowing myself and how much I can take.  There are ppl I will never shield myself from.  I never shield from my husband, my children, my granddaughter, and my sister Kat.  I want to feel those ppl.  Those are the ones I need to feel.  Good or bad, I want to feel them.  Because those are the ppl that need me to feel them most.

As you can imagine going into a store or any crowded place for that matter is exhausting.  There have been many times, that I have had to just leave a place, because the emotions were to overwhelming.   My husband has gotten very good at reading my face.  Most of the time I do not even have to say anything.  He will just say, “Do we need to go?”.

I do not even have to be in your presence to feel you, I can read text and know the feeling behind it.   Our oldest daughter lives in NC over a thousand miles away from us, and I can feel her.  But I do not have to read text or hear here, it just comes to me.

Manifest….

              I have always been one of those ppl that who are always in the right place at the right time.  I get told a lot that I am lucky.  My husband tells me I am his good luck charm.

I can think something, meditate on it, and it will happen.  it is not always instant, sometimes it takes a while.  But, it always happens.  You know the saying be careful what you wish for………yeah, it is totally true.   Many times what I thought I wanted, was NOT what I wanted.   Sometimes, I even get things that I asked for on accident, I used to always say, “I wish I was one of those ppl who could just sleep.”  And then I got sick and slept for 32 days, not straight, cause I would have died, but could literally only get up to go to the bathroom, eat, and yeah that was pretty much it.  I went to a lot of Dr’s had a ton of test done…..and nothing was wrong with me.  But for 32 days I could not keep my eyes open.  I never say “I wish I was one of those ppl who could just sleep.” not anymore.  And even if I do catch myself saying it, I ALWAYS correct myself.  It comes up a lot, cause my husband can fall asleep in 2 seconds, and sleep through anything.  I can not.  It takes me so long to fall asleep, and I am very easily woken.  So sometimes I catch myself saying it.

When I was younger I made a list of all the things I wanted in my future husband.  Juggling was one of them, and my husband can juggle and quite well too.  He has all the other qualifications too.

 

Rules for being a witch……(well my rules)…

You can never effect someones freewill.

Remember everything you put out there will come back 3 fold.

Never cast on anyone, unless they ask you too.

Keep track of the moon.

Never use your gift for selfish gain.

Always stay true to yourself.

 

Well, thanks for reading, I must say it was harder to open up about being a witch, then it is about being a submissive.  But, I am who I am.

 

It’s good to be queen!

 

 

 

We’re not in Kansas anymore….18+

When my King was younger, he had a dream that he was having sex with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz…..out of a window. So, last Halloween I picked up a sexy Dorothy costume.  And one Saturday, when we were weirdo free….I looked like this….

Well, it was an amazing night, and let’s just say, dreams can come true! Got some great video and photos for the other website.  

So with Halloween upon us again, I went and got some new updates for the costume.  We were going to be out of town Friday, at a hotel, so I figured this was a perfect time to bring out Dorothy again!  We get to the hotel, have dinner, and then my King had this…..

Added the satin gloves and red thigh highs.

Another great night with Dorothy!  

I love that we have fun like this together.  This is how marriage is suppose to be!

It’s good to be Dorothy (queen)!